On the eve of my son’s first birthday, as I watch him smirk and squeal and attempt to walk although not yet without the aid of that fancy Fisher-Price accessory, I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sense of awe and pure freaking love.

He’s perfect and I’m so blessed to be his momma.

When we learned our second was going to be a boy, there were equal parts cheer and sadness. I have a younger sister so I know firsthand the lifelong bond sisterhood brings. My husband had two brothers so the bros were in full swing. (My MIL is a bad ass.) With one of each, would they love each other or fight incessantly?

Almost one year in and the two of them make our hearts so full. Brooke adores her bubba and he looks at her with this unspoken admiration in his eyes. It’s beautiful and petrifying all at the same time. I can only imagine the shenanigans in our future with these two partners in crime.

My baby isn’t a baby anymore.

He’s becoming a toddler and I’m afraid I will forget all the amazing milestones from his first year. I’m sure other moms have similar thoughts, so ready assured you’re not alone!

What do I hope to always remember? Let me count the things…

1. The smell of his newborn baby self, especially in the wee hours of the morning when the rest of the world was tucked away fast asleep.
2. His tiny hands and fingers and toes and nose and ears and… everything.
3. The mohawk. It was perfection.
4. The beginning babbles of words and the light in his eyes when I walk into the room.
5. That toothy grin. Damn, he’s so cute.
6. His ability to silently take a deuce and then smirk like, yep… that’s me!
7. The way he looks at his sister, and how she was the first to make him belly laugh which remains my favorite sound in the world. My two babies gigging… nothing gets better than that.

1. His ability to rest his tiny head on my shoulder and pass out for a couple hours… I miss those early month cuddles.
2. How happy this bubba is, like all. the. time. It’s contagious.
3. His smile. I just love love love his toothy grin smile.

If I spend more time reflecting, I will end up in a bigger puddle of mush than I already am, and I have an entire party to get ready for! So, I’ll leave it with this…

Marek, thank you for being you. The most perfect addition to our family and such a joy to this world. We love you so very much and will be here through every important milestone as you grow up. Happy almost first birthday, bud. You’ve got your momma’s whole heart.